We’re approaching that time of year again, the one where romance and flowers are the norm and strawberries dipped in chocolate in Paris fill every girls dreams …or so you’d think.
According to a recent study* carried out by yours truly, people prefer sentimental gifts on Valentine’s Day that show their partner really knows them and really cares.
Easy right? Wrong. I’m sure we’ve all had that F.R.I.E.N.D.S moment where you get the worst gift ever (see above and think sock bunnies). So below I’ve broken down all the typical gifts given on this glorious day of love and the difference between getting it right (Rock Star) and getting it soo wrong (Loser).
*okay, I asked my friends and family questions, not really a study in any sense of the word.
1) A Share Size Bar Of Galaxy Chocolate – Loser
You do realise they can get this themselves from any corner shop and probably do on a basis more regular than they’d like to admit, so it’s not that special.
A Box Of Chocolates From Hotel Chocolat – Rock Star!
WARNING: I’m not going to lie to you, chocolate is a tricky gift and will have most girls screaming “I’m on a diet, I told you four times yesterday alone that I’m on a diet! You NEVER listen!” Or something like that…Maybe?
Hotel Chocolat has stores in Newcastle and the Metrocentre or you can visit their website here.
2) Cheesy Heart-print Lingerie – Loser
It’s hilarious that you’d even consider anything printed with hearts, ever!
A Beautiful Matching Lingerie Set – Rock Star!
Valentines day is probably the only occasion when it’s acceptable to by your better half underwear, because lets face it, V-Day is all about spending quality time with them.
Boux Avenue stock everything imaginable, from sexy to cute, depending on your lady’s style. Visit their Metrocentre store or find their website here.
WARNING: Please remember that your partner is not part of the exotic dance industry and will most likely be very intimidated and extremely annoyed if you gift her with an underwear set fit for a pole artist. Purchase wisely.
3) A Single Red Rose – Loser
Why are you such a walking cliché?
A Huge Bunch Of Their *Favourite* Flowers – Rock Star!
Getting your partner their favourite flowers, rather than getting them red roses (unless red roses actually happen to be their favourite flowers) shows that you know them well. This is sure to earn you mega points. The Wild Bunch in Sunderland have a gorgeous selection and have been the North East’s popular choice since 1996, find all the details here.
4) Any Random Perfume/Aftershave – Loser
Why do you know nothing about your partner!?
Their All Time Favourite Perfume/Aftershave – Rock Star!
My mum’s favourite perfume got discontinued a few years ago. A few Valentine’s Days ago my dad tried to track down a bottle for her and couldn’t find a stockist anywhere.
He ended up contacting the manufacturers directly and they were so touched by the effort he’d put into getting my mum the perfume that they sent him a bottle. What. A. Man.
Find an extensive list of all the amazing fragrances on offer on the Debenhams website or you can visit their fragrance department in Newcastle, Sunderland or Middlesbrough.
5) A Microwave Or Pre-cooked Meal – Loser
I …honestly …just what? Why? I’m confused.
A Meal Cooked By You/Meal At Their Favourite Restaurant – Rock Star!
If I need to explain this one you really have no hope and should probably just end your relationship right now for the sake of everyone involved.
So there you have it, there’s my definitive list on how to come out ontop this Valentine’s Day. Remember, it’s not about the amount of gifts you buy your partner, it’s about showing them you love them and you care.
Also, Valentine’s Day definitely isn’t the time to try to be funny. One year an ex-boyfriend gave me a piece of paper with “IOU – I’m going out this weekend with my mates so I need the money for that.”
I didn’t find it cute or funny (and I’m STILL waiting for my presents?!) so please have more sense than that.
I feel like I need to say this: so help me God, if you buy your partner cheap underwear I will personally see to it that they dump your cheap ass and nobody else in the entire country will date you because let’s face it – you deserve to be alone.
Happy Valentines Day!
PS. If you’re single this February 14 and read this article for the sheer joy of reading it then just chill out with a glass of wine whilst staring at your beautiful self in the mirror, you’re far too fabulous for anyone to handle tonight.
Or you can take a look at our favourite places to not celebrate Valentine’s Day here.
Go celebrate being you, gorgeous!