Have you ever looked at someone’s selfie and thought there might be more to it than just a pretty face or a nice outfit?
Not picking out the bad but more why they are taking a photo of themselves instead? Can you tell if they’re happy, sad or completely heartbroken? I am, but can you notice?
Something that you can see in a lot of my selfies is a necklace that means a whole lot to me and holds plenty of treasured memories. But you wouldn’t know that just from looking at a picture of me, unless you were close to me, right?
You don’t know that this necklace holds a place in my heart that represents the last three years with my boyfriend Zac and now it’s gone for good. All I have are the memories and nothing to physically remember them by.
The necklace last took a trip to London, where my boyfriend and I visited for a family wedding. The washer style necklace was engraved with our names and the date we got together, August 02 2013.
It was love at first sight, of a photograph, on Instagram. The more modern way of how people get together these days. Where would we be without technology and the invention of Apps?
Instagram was also the source of the necklace, I came across it on a boutique called Pearls and Ponytails, who specifically create personalised timeless jewellery. It’s worth a lot more than the price I paid for it (£20) simply because of its meaning.
On its delicate chain the solid silver necklace just effortlessly finished off an outfit for me. It made me smile, laugh, sometimes cry. It was a comfort blanket. I’d wear it if I were having a bad day, if I needed some luck on my side, even if we had an argument I’d wear it just almost as though I wanted him to know I was sorry.
It was there for people to see as an accessory but for me it’s so much more and nobody else could understand that, not even Zac. Boys don’t show their emotions in person much never mind through a photograph. I believe they’re more delicate inside, just like the necklace. There’s no physical inside of it but it represents my inside emotions.
The necklace had aged, just like we have. Over the last three years a lot has happened, none that you would think a necklace could represent. You wouldn’t know I had it when I went away for two weeks alone, or for comfort the full time a family member was ill. Our history is held in these tiny pieces of metal and they’ve disappeared.
I had the necklace all through our trip to London, apart from the very last day. I had no idea it was gone until I arrived home about 258 miles away. I have a habit of misplacing things, so I checked every bag multiple times and I think I even blamed Zac for losing it at one point. The only other option was to contact the Blakemore Hotel, where we stayed to see if they could find it.
It was an anxious wait for the phone call back and some what a feeling of disappointment when they said nothing had been handed in. That was definitely not a feeling I wanted to add to the list of representation of that necklace. But unfortunately the list got worse. Regret, guilt, doubt. I can’t put into words how disheartened I am and It’s all my fault it’s gone.
Zac was pretty okay with it and said he’d buy me a new one but a new one wouldn’t have the same perfume stains or scratches. Maybe losing it is a sign of progression? He’s recently bought me a new Ted Baker necklace with Rose Gold detail. Is this necklace going to represent our future together? Maybe it’s time for a new necklace, to make more memories? These are the questions I keep asking myself every day. The original sentimental necklace is gone but the memories and emotions never will be.
So, I think the answer is no you can’t define our emotions just from scrolling through our selfies. It’s a front; you wouldn’t know that the necklace meant so much to me. There’s nothing to give that away, not even my expressions. A picture paints a thousand words, but only so much when you know so little about a person. I hope to find the necklace one day but at this point I don’t think that’ll ever happen. All I have are the memories.