10am: It’s my day off so naturally I’m going to make the most of a lie in, forgetting that it’s almost Halloween and I need to get myself an outfit, then on top of that forgetting I’d volunteered to live a day of my usual hectic ‘full of stuff’ life, completely and utterly barefaced. What a mare.
Ok so, first things first, I’ve showered, brushed my hair and might as well wear a statement outfit to try and take the attention away from how pale and ‘eyebrowless’ I am.
Before I’m about to leave I slap on some moisturiser to try and get that Rosie Huntington- Whiteley natural glow. Not so much, more like Rosie Huntington-What-have-you-done-ly.
11am: So I’m out the door, and waiting for the 45 bus, the bus that not only I use but pretty much everyone I know in the County Durham area uses – including my gran, and guess who is sat right at the front? “Have you caught a cold? Your eyes look really tired, have you eaten a good breakfast to start your day?”
God, even my own blood knows I look like death, all in the name of journalism. Still, it could be worse, I could have been divorced because of my makeup-less mush Which is exactly what happened to a bride on her honeymoon in Dubai after her husband caught a glimpse of her bare face after a swim.
12pm: I’ve made it to intu MetroCentre with minimal stares so far, but more importantly I’ve made it to midday, makeup free in public. It can only get better from here surely; it might sound like I’m on some sort of expedition but for me this really is Mission Impossible.
It’s probably just nerves or lack of confidence but I felt like I was a strange unknown species walking through the Red Mall, or more realistically like someone who had just rolled out of bed and sleep-walked all the way into the busiest shopping location in the North East.
I ducked into Boots to maybe grab the cheapest concealer stick I could find and shove it on (a moment of weakness), but then I saw the shop assistants on the Chanel stand and didn’t want to walk past them bare faced, as I knew I’d have the urge to try and explain – “you don’t know what I’m capable of with an eye shadow palette and a contour kit!”
1pm: Hmmm Costa? I have been thinking of a caramel latte and a chocolate swirl since the minute I stepped off the bus, plus the dark maroon walls felt like a bit of a shelter from the world full of makeup around me. But how could I forget, that the person I fancied for about 3 years in secondary school was head barista, still I was in the queue, too late to make a dash for it now. Thank god I did wait in the queue because he wasn’t in work that day and that coffee was amazing.
2pm: I’m just about to leave the fancy dress shop and hop back on the bus with the beginnings of the forever popular Harley Quinn outfit, when I caught a glimpse of my makeup free face in the mirror. Remembering that I’d been scratching my face and rubbing my eyes all day and hey, not one smudge, no gruelling thoughts of having to do the late night trip to the bathroom before you go to sleep to wash it off, or accidentally picking all my mascara off on the bus home without noticing it was flaking on to my face and I looked like a character from a horror film.
This makeup free business might have just turned out to be one of the best Lazy Girl Life Hacks yet.