More than a denim jacket to me – a memoir

From being extremely young I had always loved clothes, fashion has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I always saw fashion as a way to express myself, and clothes helped boost my low self esteem.

I have always loved vintage clothes and always loved denim jackets, so getting a vintage denim jacket was the absolute dream item of clothing I had wanted for so long.

I was 14 when I was going through a particularly rough time with my mental health. I was wearing joggers and hoodies constantly because making an effort with myself seemed impossible and I had lost my sense of self. One day my parents surprised me with a vintage oversized Wrangler denim jacket, and I was so ecstatic. It may only seem like a denim jacket to most people, but to me it was a symbol that although I felt alone, I was loved and people were thinking of me, even if my mind was telling me otherwise. It also helped me want to make an effort with myself, which was a big plus for my mental health: I had this beautiful jacket so I wanted to dress nice whilst wearing it. I was very conscious of my weight, and even though I was underweight, my depression and anxiety got the better of me and made me think otherwise. I wanted everything I wore to hide my figure and wearing things that didn’t made my confidence severely decline. Wearing oversized clothes gave me some sort of confidence, although they weren’t exactly the most appealing – baggy jumpers and oversized joggers didn’t exactly make me feel stylish, which again, made me feel like I had lost my sense of self.

Me aged 16 wearing the jacket (2016)

That was until I was given this jacket, I absolutely adored It and it was something oversized that made me feel super confident but also looked good, whilst ensuring I had kept my passion for fashion! It goes with every item of clothing I own, I often wear it with dresses, skirts, trousers, etc.

Six years later, the denim jacket is still just as important to me, it is one of my favourite gifts I have ever been given! Not only does it hold a lot of meaning to me, but the oversized fit makes it extra comfy yet extra stylish.

Me aged 18 wearing the jacket (2019)

 

Me aged 19 wearing the jacket (2020)

I feel confident whilst wearing it. My mental health still gets very bad sometimes, and whilst my depression and anxiety can have me at very low points and take over my whole entire life, I am still reminded that I am loved.

This jacket is very special to me, it was a gift from people who are very special to me, my lovely, supportive parents. My parents have helped me through some extremely tough times in general, but specifically they have been a huge help with my mental health, supporting me through the hardest times even though they sometimes struggle themselves. They have helped my mental health in more ways than anyone could imagine, and for that I am eternally grateful. My vintage Wrangler jacket acts as a symbol to me that they are always here for me no matter what and want to help me through every struggle I face in life, and their love for me is unconditional. I definitely would not have been able to face my mental illnesses without them, they helped me understand that it’s okay not to be okay, and for that reason (among many others) I’m so thankful for them.

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