I associate style with how a person thinks and feels about themselves.
It’s a true reflection of what’s going on inside.
For me, my style growing up deviated a lot,
as reactions to what was going on in my life,
I chose to do a shoot to reflect my personal growth with confidence,
and my ups and downs as I became an adult.
When I was in high school, I struggled with moving around a lot, found it hard to make friends, and just tried to get by without being bullied as best I could. I tried to fit in with the popular girls, I tried to figure out makeup and masked a lot of my actual behaviours and felt like I played a role the whole time. I never felt comfortable, something always felt off, and I hated my body and how I looked. I conformed and didn’t stray from the normal path.
As I got to sixth form, I changed a lot of myself. I rebelled and reacted to uncomfortable situations in my life, such as loss of friendships, trying to figure myself out, dealing with my own sexuality and identity, and sexual assault. I was a shell of myself at this point. I hated dressing up, I did my best to repel men, I didn’t want to be looked at or viewed in that kind of way at all. I used my appearance however I could to just be avoided. I really went a 180 and only wore baggy men’s clothes; I didn’t want my body to be seen. I was really struggling with myself, and trusting others.
By the time I got to University, I mellowed out a lot. I met good people who accepted me for who I was. I didn’t feel the need to hide or conform to a specific style, and I was comfortable with wearing what I wanted to, and feeling a lot more happy in doing so. Dressing up didn’t feel like a chore anymore, it felt freeing and a fun way to express my personality. I hadn’t experienced this really ever before. I experimented with my looks, clothing for all styles, a different vibe every day. Its fun, and that’s how I think dressing up should feel. It should make you feel happy, feel seen and express your stance on life. I still didn’t embrace my feminine side until very recently. I felt like a fraud if I wore girly things, or felt like I wouldn’t be seen for who I was if I did.
Now, I feel comfortable wearing elements of both menswear and womenswear; I like the ambiguity, I feel comfortable with myself and my appearance. I like to look good and feel good doing it. I feel powerful and happy to be androgynous. I finally understand the joy people feel, dressing up everyday.
It’s okay to express yourself however you want, and I hope you feel confident enough to do that yourself.
Be creative, enjoy the process of dressing up, don’t care what other people think.
Just think about what makes you feel happy and confident. Literally nothing else matters.
It’s always about you and yourself. Nobody else.